He gives her a bit of A Look -- because no, he does not -- but he refrains from commenting. "Well, I think most of the people I've met here are all right." With certain recent exceptions that will go unnamed, Bill and Ford.
"But Harry and I get along well. I actually knew who he was before we met -- I've read quite a bit about the Franklin expedition, which he was on." He frowns, rubbing his earlobe. "Granted, that's also how he died, so it's gotten a little awkward at times, but I think we've managed well."
She gives a soft, dry laugh at that, and her lips turn up in a smirk. "As
long as it isn't putting a damper on your friendship. Does he know
that's how he died?"
"Oh, yes. We've spoken quite a bit about it." Which has definitely been more than just awkward at times, but he wouldn't change it. It's also deepened their friendship in any number of ways.
...which is, perhaps, something he should think more about than he usually does. Hm.
As if to prove the point his mind is starting to circle around, he goes on. "He also knows about my father, and... and what happened last week. So I imagine, or at least hope, he doesn't find it too one-sided."
Caitlin's smile turns a little warmer, growing with something akin to
pride. "Well, it sure sounds like you're doing alright out there, with or
without my help," she observes. She certainly didn't facilitate their
meeting, or encourage Fraser to open up to someone about the skeletons in
his proverbial closet -- he did that all on his own -- but there's
something to be proud of in that, too. And that alone feels strange in her
mind, like a truth that she's not used to carrying; she's always wanted to
be needed, and knowing that she isn't should fill her with jealousy,
or even spite.
But it doesn't, and maybe that's the difference between being needed and
being wanted.
That reminds him of something else he'd wanted to bring up, something he very well might need her for, and he abandons the revelation he'd been working towards to focus on something more immediately important.
"There is one thing I wanted to ask you about," he admits, turning towards her and leaning in a bit, like they weren't already alone in here. "In the aftermath, I confess, there was someone I persistently kept calling to mind, even knowing they were imaginary, and, well... " He sighs. "I can't deny what a comfort it was."
"And I know it's selfish, inherently and appallingly so, but I find myself wondering if I couldn't try to bring Diefenbaker here, after all." He watches her face hopefully, if a little guiltily.
Caitlin listens, through the awkward fits and starts of his request, tense
with a kind of dread regarding where the conversation is liable to end up
going until he actually gives Diefenbaker's name, and she visibly relaxes
again. She's heard a lot about the wolf, and with Fraser being not only
able but willing to seek out the company of other people, she's pretty sure
that he won't wind up being a social crutch. And if he is, well -- they'll
talk about it.
Besides, she can't deny that she kind of wants to meet this incredible,
brave, deaf, life-saving wolf. He sounds as interesting as Fraser himself.
"I think sometimes you have to be a little selfish," she points out.
"Otherwise how are you ever going to actually get what you want?"
She takes another sip from her mug and sets it down. The companionship
might even be a reward for being bold enough to ask for something for
himself, even if it took him a minute to get there. "I think it sounds like
a great idea. Go ahead and put in a request on the network, and if you need
me to sign off on anything, let me know."
Fraser smiles ruefully at the first part. How is he ever going to get what he wants? "I think you know I don't think about that very much," he points out. Or doesn't let himself think about it, more correctly. That's where his dark side lives, as he sees it: in feeling too much, wanting too much, taking all for himself, and damn the consequences.
But after having Dief around for a week, even an imaginary one, his absence hurts almost as much as Victoria's had. Fraser's smile widens with relief when Caitlin gives him the go-ahead. "Thank you kindly, Caitlin. I think you'll rather like him, and vice-versa." Though thank God for colorblindness, or based on his obsession with blondes, he would never leave her alone.
"Truth be told, I've already started making preparations for his arrival," he adds. "I'd been concerned about fighting between Dief and Mr. Tennant, the werewolf, but Mr. Tennant informs me he's already found a solution." That had been an unexpected but enormous relief; he never could have had Dief here without that piece being resolved.
In that regard, Fraser's dark side and Frost aren't all that different.
Even though they're each capable of different kinds of extremes, and come
with different types of consequences, they both need to find ways to fold
that part of themselves into their psyche. Asking for something like this
feels like a way to indulge the desire to be selfish in a way that doesn't
actually hurt anyone, and might even help, in the end. It's safe, but it's
still a step forward, and builds up the muscle of his ego, so that choices
that seem hard now will be much easier to make in the future. Hopefully,
anyway.
"Oh?" she asks, curious. "You know, I never would have suspected that that
would even be a problem in the first place. What'd you figure out?"
"Oh, I can't take any credit," he demurs. "He and Ms. Wildthyme were the ones who alerted me to the problem in the first place, and he was the one who found the solution, for which I'm certainly very grateful."
"In fact," he muses, "I'm not actually sure what he did -- but he assured me that Diefenbaker won't have any problem being around him, and that's what's most important." Because the way Iris had talked about having to manage her dogs had sounded awful, and degrading in a way he couldn't imagine subjecting Dief to.
"I've also thought about installing a wolf door in my cabin, so he can come and go as he please. He used to use the fire escape in my old apartment, but, well--" He nods pointedly to the windows, which are now definitely not a viable exit.
Caitlin glances over to the windows, nodding in agreement. She's able to
actually go out on her balcony if she wants, and she expects that the fire
escape might also be within the protective bubble of the ship, but it
certainly doesn't go anywhere, so it defeats the purpose. "I wonder
if you could fold that request in with the original one, to get him here in
the first place," she muses. "The Admiral might even be able to put a
filter on it so other people don't try to sneak in -- unless you want them
too, of course, but if there's already a concern with someone else on
board, it might be better to be safe than sorry in this case."
"Oh, I'm not especially worried about that," he says. "It would be wolf-sized, after all, and I rarely lock my cabin as it is." You've seen his cabin, Caitlin. What would even be the point?
Then again, he knows that already leaves room for one particular miniature scoundrel, so he lightly adds: "And, of course, Diefenbaker himself is often all the security I need." He's not a vengeful or violent person in any way, shape, or form (he hopes) but even he has to admit that it would be pretty funny if Bill Cipher tried to sneak in and ended up becoming a temporary chew toy.
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no subject
Bill and Ford."But Harry and I get along well. I actually knew who he was before we met -- I've read quite a bit about the Franklin expedition, which he was on." He frowns, rubbing his earlobe. "Granted, that's also how he died, so it's gotten a little awkward at times, but I think we've managed well."
no subject
She gives a soft, dry laugh at that, and her lips turn up in a smirk. "As long as it isn't putting a damper on your friendship. Does he know that's how he died?"
no subject
...which is, perhaps, something he should think more about than he usually does. Hm.
As if to prove the point his mind is starting to circle around, he goes on. "He also knows about my father, and... and what happened last week. So I imagine, or at least hope, he doesn't find it too one-sided."
no subject
Caitlin's smile turns a little warmer, growing with something akin to pride. "Well, it sure sounds like you're doing alright out there, with or without my help," she observes. She certainly didn't facilitate their meeting, or encourage Fraser to open up to someone about the skeletons in his proverbial closet -- he did that all on his own -- but there's something to be proud of in that, too. And that alone feels strange in her mind, like a truth that she's not used to carrying; she's always wanted to be needed, and knowing that she isn't should fill her with jealousy, or even spite.
But it doesn't, and maybe that's the difference between being needed and being wanted.
no subject
"There is one thing I wanted to ask you about," he admits, turning towards her and leaning in a bit, like they weren't already alone in here. "In the aftermath, I confess, there was someone I persistently kept calling to mind, even knowing they were imaginary, and, well... " He sighs. "I can't deny what a comfort it was."
"And I know it's selfish, inherently and appallingly so, but I find myself wondering if I couldn't try to bring Diefenbaker here, after all." He watches her face hopefully, if a little guiltily.
no subject
Caitlin listens, through the awkward fits and starts of his request, tense with a kind of dread regarding where the conversation is liable to end up going until he actually gives Diefenbaker's name, and she visibly relaxes again. She's heard a lot about the wolf, and with Fraser being not only able but willing to seek out the company of other people, she's pretty sure that he won't wind up being a social crutch. And if he is, well -- they'll talk about it.
Besides, she can't deny that she kind of wants to meet this incredible, brave, deaf, life-saving wolf. He sounds as interesting as Fraser himself. "I think sometimes you have to be a little selfish," she points out. "Otherwise how are you ever going to actually get what you want?" She takes another sip from her mug and sets it down. The companionship might even be a reward for being bold enough to ask for something for himself, even if it took him a minute to get there. "I think it sounds like a great idea. Go ahead and put in a request on the network, and if you need me to sign off on anything, let me know."
no subject
But after having Dief around for a week, even an imaginary one, his absence hurts almost as much as Victoria's had. Fraser's smile widens with relief when Caitlin gives him the go-ahead. "Thank you kindly, Caitlin. I think you'll rather like him, and vice-versa." Though thank God for colorblindness, or based on his obsession with blondes, he would never leave her alone.
"Truth be told, I've already started making preparations for his arrival," he adds. "I'd been concerned about fighting between Dief and Mr. Tennant, the werewolf, but Mr. Tennant informs me he's already found a solution." That had been an unexpected but enormous relief; he never could have had Dief here without that piece being resolved.
no subject
In that regard, Fraser's dark side and Frost aren't all that different. Even though they're each capable of different kinds of extremes, and come with different types of consequences, they both need to find ways to fold that part of themselves into their psyche. Asking for something like this feels like a way to indulge the desire to be selfish in a way that doesn't actually hurt anyone, and might even help, in the end. It's safe, but it's still a step forward, and builds up the muscle of his ego, so that choices that seem hard now will be much easier to make in the future. Hopefully, anyway.
"Oh?" she asks, curious. "You know, I never would have suspected that that would even be a problem in the first place. What'd you figure out?"
no subject
"In fact," he muses, "I'm not actually sure what he did -- but he assured me that Diefenbaker won't have any problem being around him, and that's what's most important." Because the way Iris had talked about having to manage her dogs had sounded awful, and degrading in a way he couldn't imagine subjecting Dief to.
"I've also thought about installing a wolf door in my cabin, so he can come and go as he please. He used to use the fire escape in my old apartment, but, well--" He nods pointedly to the windows, which are now definitely not a viable exit.
no subject
Caitlin glances over to the windows, nodding in agreement. She's able to actually go out on her balcony if she wants, and she expects that the fire escape might also be within the protective bubble of the ship, but it certainly doesn't go anywhere, so it defeats the purpose. "I wonder if you could fold that request in with the original one, to get him here in the first place," she muses. "The Admiral might even be able to put a filter on it so other people don't try to sneak in -- unless you want them too, of course, but if there's already a concern with someone else on board, it might be better to be safe than sorry in this case."
no subject
Then again, he knows that already leaves room for one particular miniature scoundrel, so he lightly adds: "And, of course, Diefenbaker himself is often all the security I need." He's not a vengeful or violent person in any way, shape, or form
(he hopes)but even he has to admit that it would be pretty funny if Bill Cipher tried to sneak in and ended up becoming a temporary chew toy.