There it is, and for a moment the desire to shut this down before it even starts is so strong that his whole body seems to tense up, even his hands going kind of white-knuckled on his tea. He doesn't want to do this, and she knows he doesn't want to do this, and it doesn't make sense to when she must already know what's happened.
Something in him wants to be fiercely angry that she's trying it anyway, but after the library, anger scares him more than anything else he could feel; so he tries to stamp it all back down, making his voice cool and terse. "Caitlin."
He looks up at her face, finds her ready to listen, wanting to help... and just as suddenly, the fight goes out of him. He sighs, the tension in him going slack again, his expression going tired and hollow. He still doesn't want to go into the excruciating details, but he doesn't want to fight. There has to be some kind of middle ground. He has to be able to just... tell her what he needs.
Which he tries to, quietly, wearily. "I thought it was her. I really did. But it wasn't, and honestly... I'm ready to put it behind me. All of it, I mean. Victoria." He blinks a few times, rapidly, like he's getting misty -- but then he just looks back down at his tea, and no tears come. "I'm ready to put Victoria behind me," he says again, very softly, like he has to confirm it for himself.
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timeasmymeasure
orite prose is a thing
Date: 2019-03-30 05:01 am (UTC)Something in him wants to be fiercely angry that she's trying it anyway, but after the library, anger scares him more than anything else he could feel; so he tries to stamp it all back down, making his voice cool and terse. "Caitlin."
He looks up at her face, finds her ready to listen, wanting to help... and just as suddenly, the fight goes out of him. He sighs, the tension in him going slack again, his expression going tired and hollow. He still doesn't want to go into the excruciating details, but he doesn't want to fight. There has to be some kind of middle ground. He has to be able to just... tell her what he needs.
Which he tries to, quietly, wearily. "I thought it was her. I really did. But it wasn't, and honestly... I'm ready to put it behind me. All of it, I mean. Victoria." He blinks a few times, rapidly, like he's getting misty -- but then he just looks back down at his tea, and no tears come. "I'm ready to put Victoria behind me," he says again, very softly, like he has to confirm it for himself.